Cooking with stupid

Homemade heat

2011-11-16T19:25:00.000-08:00

November is no place for a hot pepper plant--even indoors. It was time to uproot the last vestiges of my summer pepper experiment and kick my tabasco plant out of its room temperature hotel. But before I did, I decided to make some sauce.

A lot of recipes online seemed pretty basic, but there were the occasional wild card ingredients like lime juice or oak-aged sherry. Others called for fermentation by way of friendly bacteria. Since I was into neither of the above, I went with an Emerill recipe, with a few extra ingredients (1/2 red bell and 1 red carribean habanero!)

The full plant during its latter outdoor days.

The meat and potatoes.

Add onion, garlic, and salt. Saute, add water, then boil for 20 min.

Blend in food processor w/ 1 cup vinegar. Really liked the hot + sweet taste, but it did come out a bit thin--and orange. Overall, decent sauce!

A sultry addiction

2011-09-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

I've been addicted to Cholula for a while. I once considered ordering a case...never got around to it though. It really does go on everything, but I find that it pairs extremely well with Goldfish crackers. Odd, but really good!

The perversion of the panko

2011-02-16T19:54:00.001-08:00

Hunger can make a person do strange things. A good while back, I learned that cracker crumbs are completely different from panko bread crumbs, or anything fit to bread fish. Cook this for another soul and you're sure to be voted off the island.

Ice cream scooper/cracker crusher...really.

Nuking the nuclear pepper

2011-02-16T19:27:00.000-08:00

I thought that maybe the heat of the grill would mellow the heat of this habanero. Not so.

Mission successful, mouth hot.

Cardboard, no. Nutritious? Si.

2010-05-18T23:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I didn't cook with absolute stupid, but I ate with it. I had no idea how this Quinoa recipe would taste--from everything I had heard, I wasn't expecting much from this ancient, grain-like, South-American seed. It turns out that when you add it to garlic, spinach, tomatoes, walnuts, the kitchen sink, and parmigiano-reggiano cheese, it's pretty damn delicious. And with a ridiculous amount of protein, vitamins, and minerals, it's the closest food gets to Red Bull.

And this is what happens

2010-05-18T23:20:00.001-07:00

when you have too many vegetables, and vegetable-looking fruits.

This is what happens

2010-05-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

when you run low on food. Or you've just cracked.

Pictured: veggie burgers (2), fried egg, avocado. Not pictured: neglected avocado.

Eggs with eight legs

2010-05-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

Some claim it's a Mid-Atlantic ambrosia. I say "eh."

Fennel failure

2010-04-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

After hearing "fennel" repeatedly mentioned during one session of channel surfing, I decided to give it a go. At first glance, this veggie looks sort of like a celery-stalked onion--and since sauteed onions go well with a big juicy steak, I decided to embark on that plan of attack. The result? Well, well-done $9 steak (oops) with a side of licorice-tasting crunch. Maybe I don't know what to eat it with (I've since seen pork and fennel), or maybe I simply don't like it.

But all is not lost. I did learn that fennel is high in vitamin C, and is one of the herbs that is traditionally used to make absinthe.

Inadequate meat

2010-02-11T23:40:00.000-08:00

These "sliders" from last summer aren't my creation (thankfully), but they still make me feel better about my own learning experiences in the kitchen.

YUM

2010-02-11T23:29:00.001-08:00

I saw this place on TV called Peanut Butter & Co, a restaurant in New York where PB heads and the curious alike go for a whimsical, but tasty, take on a classic sandwich staple. They have everything from the regular PBJ to the Elvis (grilled PB stuffed with bananas, honey…and bacon). But that didn’t stop me from trying a sandwich of my own. A safe bet, yes, but very delicious. I even included carrot sticks, just like the restaurant (and awesome moms everywhere).

Sweet, sweet potatoes

2010-02-03T14:33:00.001-08:00

After a recent sweet-potato-fry experience at a southern-fried brunch place called Ms. Shirley’s, I decided to try my hand at this often overlooked carbo superhero. So I coated them in olive oil, threw on some salt, and let ‘em bake, hoping that they would turn out even half as delicious as the ones served in the tall baskets with stainless steel ketchup containers. Ha. Easier said than done. Not quite as crispy as I’d hoped, but I’ll go for baked sweet potato slices any day. Needs garlic. Or Old Bay.

When in doubt, squeeze something

2009-11-28T22:58:00.000-08:00

I’ve been on a pomegranate kick, so I decided to throw one in the pan. Well not the whole fruit, but its…essence. I was hoping its tartness would complement the soy sauce on the chicken. You know, salty ‘n’ sweet ‘n’ tart. Turns out, the little red guys were quite overpowered by the green-capped Kikkoman, and the pomegranate flavor was reduced to an aftertaste--but what was there was pretty nice.

Overall, I consider this a success...so perhaps I'm not quite one of these.

Dueling salmon

2009-11-17T23:50:00.000-08:00

I recently had salmon cooked with lemon juice (pulp, too) and pepper. Lemon pepper salmon, you could say--and it was really good. So, I decided to see how lime pepper salmon would turn out. You can see below how I prepared them simultaneously for culinary data accuracy. Even though one might cringe at the thought of lemon tequila shots or a lime meringue pie, turns out these fruits possess pretty similar tastes. Who knew? I was worried that the lime might turn on me. Anyway, the final verdict: Lemon: 1. Lime: 1. Me: not eating fish for weeks.

Moon over my 'tater

2009-11-04T21:31:00.000-08:00

The name was inspired by Denny's, but there's nothing new here. It's just a sauteed potato (buttered, salted, and yes, whole) with a neatly fried egg (courtesy of the tiny one-egg pan). However, perhaps it also takes some inspiration from this:

Conventional wisdom proves wise

2009-10-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

I'll call this one the "Hatfield and McCoy." Beef and broccoli, but from opposite sides of the fence. Basically, it's just gustatory conflict waiting to happen (however, the accompanying cheesy mashed potatoes were excellent). I suppose that's what happens when there are not any good meat options on hand. 'Twas worth a try, though.

An anything-but-fearless foray

2009-10-16T19:07:00.001-07:00

Paint by numbers. Order by pictures. Cook (or prepare) by pictures on bottle. What sounds like a bad fortune cookie turns out to be the motto of my initial culinary “experiment.” I mean, you can’t go wrong if you follow the manufacturer’s instructions (unless you’re putting together a desk from IKEA). So here ‘tis, one Asian-inspired salad that satisfies all major food groups: bottle, can, bag, and pot*.

*I was out of bowls.

Simple tastes, special foods

2009-09-02T00:15:00.000-07:00

I’ve always wanted to be a good cook. It just seems like one of those skills that inevitably proves valuable at almost any point in life--and yet, I still prefer the wonder that is the microwave. I would rather excite my food’s particles with invisible frequencies than to make a risotto (which I recently learned is an Italian rice dish best served immediately after preparation). Utility and instant gratification have always seemed to take precedence over creativity and the kitchen. What I do cook always seems to fall within two categories: very simple, or very special. So I thought I’d make a little project out of the latter, because I've recently discovered that tasty doesn’t have to be fancy. Sometimes, it's ugly. And it can come from a complete lack of skill, culinary control--and, well, good taste.